Phew! That’s what I have to say about this crowdfunding gig.

At first, I was just going to copy and paste one of the other 4 blogs I wrote here for this crowdfunding campaign that went live this morning and then I thought No! I won’t be giving up my time with you that way. My time here is special to me.

This space, for me, has become a type of coffee date with you. It’s why I don’t monetize it with those annoying ads. I feel like it’s you and me, sitting across from each other, and it’s my time to talk. What I miss, though, is when it’s your time to talk. Still, even though many of y’all are not commenters on this site, I do get calls, and texts, and emails giving me a little view as to what’s happening with you. I love that. (How do I get you to comment on here? Is it just too scary?)

I’ve really developed a love for coming to this space and sharing my thoughts with you. It’s my favorite writing time. I can tap into my authenticity, type what I’m feeling passionate about, and feel the space you allow for that. Such a gift and I am grateful for you. For here. For us.

Now to crowdfunding. OMG. What a thing. A friend had suggested that early on this docuseries was ripe for that. He’s a visionary that way so I trusted that advice, but it seemed big, loud, and LOOK AT MEish. I hate that. I don’t even like to open presents at a party with everybody looking at me. I love people, and I love to connect with people, but I’m for sure a one on one person and I like to talk about deep things. I hate surface chat. Dinner party small talk. Yuk.

Plus, I absolutely abhor being in front of the camera and speaking in front of groups, but a few years ago I realized that was going to be part of this mission and I just needed to stop whining and deal with that aspect of it. Prepare myself. Nevertheless, I paused. Crowdfunding stood there, glaring at me from its corner, as I averted its stare.

Later, my co-producer suggested it again after a soft request to friends and family didn’t produce as much moolah as I’d hoped. We needed to get to the next step of building a trailer, pitch deck, and all the pieces necessary to go after the big money it takes to make a docuseries of the caliber we wanted to make. And THAT PART I’m passionate about because I feel so strongly that we can use this vehicle to re-educate in a new way, in a new voice that is not being heard, the landscape of youth mental health. With the suicide rate up 400% in teens 14 and up and 1 out of 4 young people having a mental health diagnosis, we don’t have any more time to sit here picking our noses in meetings around an oval oak table. We need TO MOVE NOW, and I am passionate about that urgency.

I read an article today in Newsweek about how Parkland had spurred on a whole slew of mental health issues in Florida kids who were triggered and don’t feel safe. As we learn more and more about trauma and how that affects our young people, we see that not only are we missing opportunities across the board to turn this around, we are paying a hefty price for our paralysis at best and apathy at worst. It’s this strong passion that made me lock eyes with Crowdfunding and say, “Okay. Let’s do it.”

I had no idea how big the machine is or at how many levels it works. It’s overwhelming. And fascinating. And still unraveling. While I’m typing this, we haven’t actually even started, but when you read it, we will have. Go here to see the madness and hit follow so you can be on this journey with me as I try to put on my best camera face. Oh dear God. Even saying that just makes my stomach turn. www.supportacrazythought.com

So this story will unfold. In preparation, I’ve been working harder than I’ve worked for many years. That’s okay, though, because I can see balance entering back in on May 9. On that day, I will know whether or not, in this all or nothing style campaign, whether we win or lose. I’m going to ride the wave of that, gliding with my friends who are jumping up and down with money donations, shares, offering their talents and gifts, and helping forward this mission. Either way, with all that, I call THAT a win. (See how this story begins and ends with crowdfunding today? It’s a metaphor:)